It’s an honor when you get asked to be a part of the wedding party, especially as a bridesmaid. Accompanying a bride-to-be on her journey to the altar is truly a special experience. But what are you expected to pay for? What should the bride cover? What do you do when the cost of the bridesmaid’s dress is more than you can afford? Read on as we explore being a bridesmaid and the costs that come with the territory.
Bridesmaid Expenses
She asked and you said yes. You’re going to be a bridesmaid — a fun role to be sure, but one that also comes with certain responsibilities. If it’s your first time, get ready for a whirlwind of wedding planning, shopping, and rehearsals! What exactly are you expected to pay for?
The Bridesmaid Dress
If there’s one thing you must pay for, it’s the dress. The bridesmaid’s dress is a central part of your contribution to the wedding ceremony, and makes you a definitive member of the wedding party. If it was specifically picked by the bride to fit with her vision of the day, then try to accept it (even if you’re not a big fan of the selection). You can mention some style ideas or gowns you’d like to try on, but let her make the final call.
Tailoring, Last Minute Adjustments, Cleaning
Unless someone else is directly responsible for causing damage to your new bridesmaid’s dress, it’s up to you to make sure the dress is picture-perfect for the big day. Take care of any tailoring you need early, because you don’t want to be the odd one out in pictures with a dress two sizes too big.
Bring a Big Day Survival Kit with snacks, water, a sewing kit, extra buttons, thread, safety pins, band aids, a stain remover stick, deodorant, bobby pins, chapstick, etc. Everything to make sure those hours before the ceremony go smoothly. Accidents, rips, blisters, and makeup mistakes happen — don’t be the one scrambling to the nearest drug store for what you need.
Shoes, Jewelry and Accessories
The bride may have suggestions for jewelry, or she may choose to have jewelry as her bridesmaid’s gift, but typically shoes, accessories, and jewelry are the bridesmaid’s responsibility. If the bride leaves it up to you when it comes to matching the dress, feel free to find items within your price range.
Gifts
Receiving a gift, no matter how small, is a nice feeling. Even if you’ve spent significant time and money as a member of the wedding party, it’s still important to get the bride something for the bridal shower and ceremony. For the shower, think sentimental; not extravagant. Something meaningful that comes from the heart and showcases your friendship is perfect.
If you’re struggling for ideas, check out these 10 foolproof wedding gifts for 2017 and see if you can draw some inspiration!
Make sure you’ve discussed with other members of the wedding party what the expectations are for purchasing gifts on the registry. If you’ve been specifically told to not bring anything, giving the bride a handwritten card is still a lovely gesture. The etiquette of giving wedding gifts shouldn’t be the source of stress, just be sure to communicate with others involved and you’ll be in good shape.
Bridal Shower
Be prepared to pick up some of the tab for the shower. If it’s a family planned affair then make sure to contact the person in charge and check if there’s anything the bridal party can do to help with planning, decorations, or food. Your efforts will be appreciated by all involved in the planning process.
Bachelorette Party
Like the dress, this is a cost you and your fellow bridesmaids will definitely want to cover. Everything from planning, transportation, food & drink to decorations — it’s up to you ladies to make it a special night for the soon-to-be bride. Be sure to break up the night so everyone handles a fair share of the cost (splitting it down the middle, or having each bridesmaid pay for one part of the evening). Also, plan ahead and have the details taken care of well in advance so you’re not forced to make last-minute calls and bookings. This will help make the bachelorette party the fun, stress-free night that it should be.
What if being a bridesmaid is out of your budget?
If you’re finding the bridesmaids’ costs a little daunting, don’t worry, you’re not alone. There’s a wealth of information dedicated to navigating this delicate subject. In a nutshell, if you’re gawking at the price of the dress, or if you’re worried about cost, talk to the bride. Ideally, she’ll listen and understand where your concerns are coming from.
What the Bride Pays For
The bride has her wedding party picked, and you and your fellow bridesmaids are so excited to celebrate with her when the big day arrives. Now that these important roles have been filled, it’s time to begin planning expenses. What costs should the bride be taking care of for her closest ladies?
Hair and Makeup
It is generally accepted that if the bride wants professional hair and makeup, she should foot the bill. If it’s optional or she’s ok with you doing your own hair and makeup, then she is off the hook.
Bouquet and Flowers
Flowers are paid for by the bride. She’s responsible for putting together her own bouquet and having matching ones created for her bridesmaids, so the bride should cover everything flower-related.
Bridesmaid Gifts
Although not required, it’s traditional for the bride to give her bridesmaids a small token of appreciation for their hard work and support. A piece of jewelry, especially one that’s coordinated to match their dresses, is a popular option. The bride can get personalized gifts, or ones that match the theme of the wedding. No matter the gift, the thought is what counts.
Personal Anecdote on Being a Bridesmaid
I was recently chosen to be a bridesmaid for my friend’s wedding this past November. She found the perfect bridesmaid dresses on Amazon of all places. I was a little worried not having the chance to physically try on the dress, but I gave them my exact measurements and was lucky enough to land the perfect fit. Overall it was very reasonable compared other boutiques, and saved me a bunch of money. There are definitely ways you can cut the cost of being a bridesmaid, but they may require some searching (or a bit of luck).
Part of being a bridesmaid is dealing with the expenses involved, but sometimes these expenses need to be discussed as a team. If everyone puts forth some legitimate effort, keeps an open mind, and is willing to communicate any issues ahead of time, things will go smoothly. Being a bridesmaid is a beautiful experience, and it doesn’t have to wreck your bank account.
What’s your experience with being a bridesmaid? Did you have any unexpected costs that weren’t covered here? Let us know — we would love to hear from you! Plus, don’t forget to check out our Facebook and Pinterest pages for more wedding inspo!
