Being engaged is an exhilarating time to be alive. It’s understandable that you’d want to share the entire experience with your closest friends & relatives, but don’t forget the groom’s family! Specifically, his mom. You don’t have to invite her to your bachelorette party, but you should at least include her in the various stages of wedding planning. The extra help is useful, plus it’s in your best interest to bond with the other important woman in your fiancé’s life. Here are seven ways you can reach out to your future mother-in-law and get her involved in the months and days leading up to your big day.
1. Ask Her What She’d Like to Help You With
Planning a wedding can be complicated, so you’re going to need all the help you can get. If your soon-to-be mother-in-law seems at all interested in helping, say yes! After all, odds are she has some expertise and recommendations to contribute. Maybe she’s amazing at arts and crafts and would love to make custom invitations for you. Or perhaps she knows the owner of a great wedding venue and can help you rent it out for your special day.
Just ask her if she wants to help with anything in particular, and you’ll likely find out she has a few talents that can really add to your wedding. And of course, she’ll get time to bond with you as you discuss the plans together.
2. Go with Her to Shop for Mother-of-the-Groom Dresses
Your special day will be mostly about you, but the planning process leading up to it doesn’t have to be. Give your future mother-in-law her own special time by meeting up to shop for her mother-of-the-groom dress.
Plan to go to a few different dress shops, with lunch and/or drinks in between store visits. This way, you’ll get some time to bond, and you’ll also get to give your input on which gowns you like best for her to wear to your wedding. And of course, if you still need to find a stylish wedding dress for yourself, invite her to come along with your own mother and bridesmaids so you can find your dress together.
3. Find Out What Her Wedding Day Was Like
You know how much you like to talk about your upcoming wedding? Your mother-in-law likely feels the same way about her special day, so ask her how it went. Let her tell you what went right and what went wrong, and let her show you the pictures to prove it.
You can share some laughs this way, and you’re sure to get some new ideas to make your wedding even more special. Maybe the main dish at her reception was really popular and something you might want at your own, or maybe she’ll let you know how much she regrets not hiring a videographer to capture her special day on video. She might even ask if you’d like to use something from her wedding, such as a beautiful piece of jewelry. This is a great opportunity for the two of you to bond even more.
4. Get Her Advice on the Wedding Registry
Putting together your wedding registry sounds fun, until you realize just how time-consuming it can be. If you’re feeling overwhelmed, take your future mother-in-law with you to add items to your registry. If you’re doing it online, invite her over so you can have some drinks and talk while you take turns loading up your registry with interesting and unique wedding fun gift ideas.
This is especially helpful if you’re not sure what you need in your kitchen beyond the basics. Your future mother-in-law might know the best brand of wine glasses to register for or which kitchen appliances you’ll really use. Let her advise you. You can always edit the registry later if you decide you don’t like some of her suggestions.
5. Invite Her to Wedding-Related Meetings
You can expect to have to meet up with vendors pretty often as you plan your wedding. Consider inviting your future mother-in-law to meetings about the following wedding essentials:
- Catering
- Flowers
- Pictures
- Video
- DJ or band
- Venue
- Cake
Of course, you don’t have to invite her to every meeting. Pick a few that she might be interested in or at least anything she is involved with planning or paying for.
6. Include Her in the Pre-Wedding Pampering Sessions
If you’re planning to get manicures and pedicures with your bridesmaids days before the wedding, why not invite your future mother-in-law along? She probably wants a chance to get her nails done, too.
And if you’re hiring a makeup artist and hairstylist on your wedding day, see if your future mother-in-law would like help getting ready before the ceremony.

If your mother and future mother-in-law get along well, invite them both to many of these wedding planning activities. The more family bonding time, the better!
7. Encourage Your Fiancé to Get His Mom Involved
Your future mother-in-law would likely love getting to know you, but she’d probably also love to know her own son wants her involved with the wedding. So make sure he’s the one to ask for her help once in a while.
If you’ve already involved her extensively, then encourage your fiancé to take his mom out for lunch or happy hour. This gives them a chance to discuss the wedding details they’re both excited about as the special day approaches.
Do you have any other fun ways to get the bride’s future mother-in-law involved in wedding prep? We’d love to hear from you! And be sure to check out our Facebook and Pinterest pages for more ideas & inspo. Enjoy the journey!